Lessons in Self Love: People Pleasing

Lessons in self love_ People pleasing-3

I’ve learned a lot about myself recently. One of the things I have learned is that I am a huge people pleaser. While it certainly can be nice to do things to make others happy, excessive people pleasing is neglecting oneself completely.

After realizing how detrimental sacrificing myself to satisfy others was, I began working towards getting back in touch with myself. I am a big believer in self love (and you will likely read more about that in future posts) and I fully support putting yourself first.

Why should you put yourself first?

It is impossible to please everyone. 

There was no way I could be everything to everyone. I would be trying to text someone all day to keep her entertained, while I was out with someone who wanted me to join her at a movie, while thinking about the things someone else wanted me to have completed by the time he felt it should be completed! By trying to be everything to everyone I ended up spreading myself too thin and all of these people felt I was neglecting them– the exact opposite of my intention.

People pleasing can disconnect one from oneself

As a people pleaser, I wanted to keep everyone happy above all else. That became my desire. But what did I actually want? Meaning, if they weren’t people expecting things of me and if I didn’t have the desire to satisfy them all, what would I be doing? I lost myself for a while, but I have had a blast finding myself again.

People pleasing can result in a miserable life

We all have things we have to do (like working or going to school). But the time we have to ourselves should be spent doing things we enjoy. At my worst, I was so insistent on keeping everyone around me happy that I would go an entire day doing nothing I actually wanted. Perhaps losing one day is something that can be overlooked, but when people pleasing takes over, days can turn to weeks and weeks can turn to months. Too much time was spent with me being unhappy, because I was putting the wants of others above my own.

Honestly, by doing things that make me happy, I have found that my life is so much richer than when I was trying to be everything to every one.

Do you consider yourself a people pleaser? Do you have any advice to share? Comment below!




Procrastinator and wannabe writer. Big fan of sleep.

  1. Amen sister, people ask me why I never socialize – truth to the matter is I’m just not a people person. I find people judge me and it impossible to actually please people at social event. It very easy to be that person who they want you to be – not yourself. I had a lot of that when I was at school and at work. Urgh..

    1. Yes yes yes! I find that at work I have to appear to be a very outgoing, bubbly, and super social person. It is expected for my job. But the second I leave work, I just want to be who I really am! Glad someone else gets it 🙂